A Taste of Honey

You probably have heard the old saying: "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." I've recently discovered there are different kinds of "honey". Or rather, different ways to use honey in your speech.

Our campus director resigned on Monday afternoon, leaving with no notice and taking all the things she had brought and not been reimbursed for. Needless to say, the staff members were a bit shocked.

Tuesday morning brought the arrival of the superintendent (or CEO) of the group of charter schools, along with his newly-hired assistant. They remained all week, filling the position of campus director between the two of them. In watching each man work, I saw different types of honeyed words.

The superintendent is a very straightforward man, loud and boisterous in his speech. He doesn't sugar-coat his words, but he uses edifying words and humor to build up others. He jokes with the parents who bring forgotten lunches, with the kids who aren't feeling well (or think they aren't), and even somewhat with the kids who come in with discipline issues. He does it in such a way that you are put at ease, but at the same time he doesn't compromise the seriousness of a situation.

The new assistant is the type to look you in the eye and smile as he talks to you, never raising his voice. His words are smooth, but can also be cutting. He instructs before asking how things are being done. He just assumes they are not being done properly. Although he has taught with the curriculum we are using, he is not familiar with how our schools operate. However, he acts as if he has all the answers.

I like both men and respect them for their experience in education. But I must admit I prefer the boisterous, humorous edifier over the soft-spoken, smiling criticizer.

Observing these men made me think about how others are receiving my words. Are they hearing a honey-coated barb or an genuine word of edification, sprinkled with humor? Or are they just hearing a barb without any honey? I have to go back to what Paul said about our speech:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

Father, help me to remember to make my words edifying, not using sweetness to hide a barb.

What kind of honey is in your words?